Sunday, August 17, 2014

Undone

Have you ever found yourself completely undone? You look up and find yourself bowed down in worship in your kitchen over a hot skillet while making your child a grilled cheese sandwich? Bowed down because in that moment...the thought of looking God in His face after the mess you've made of things seems completely unthinkable? 

No. Good for you.

For those of you who nodded your head emphatically yes when I asked if you've ever been undone...this message is for you. 

I've been there. I am there. My moves from glory to glory are visited by God's stretching me. Pulling me to trust Him deeper. Completely spilling out. The only thing I'm left with is to bow down and find Him. Undone undone. 

My shell cracking usually looks like a situation I have trusted God for...whether to provide, to heal me, or to change things presenting itself as exactly the opposite of what I'm believing God for. This unraveling can leave me feeling ready to bail. To run and try to save things. To pull out my best game to finish strong. Yet I know even with my best attempt...if I want to get where I know ultimately God wants me to be...this painful cracking must happen. Many times I hold on, trying to hold it all together. Making the pain of transforming more intense. 

At some point I stop fighting and let it happen. 

It's then that I find myself with tears streaming down my face dripping in a hot skillet of cheese. It's at this moment where I know the pain of resisting the undoing is far greater than just being completely undone. Do you get me?

I'm sharing this because I know I'm not alone. I know there is one person who needs permission to just let it go. Let it all spill out. Let the process do it's work. Here you go.

My son walked in the kitchen and saw me with tears streaming down my face, completely undone and asked "mom, what's wrong." To those on the outside, the undoing seems all wrong. Bad. To the one being undone...you know it's all right. 

If nothing else I'm here to say...it is ok to be undone. Completely.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Friday Files

...and the living is easy


Around Baltimore

Proverbs 11:25

Around Santa Fe



Scalos







Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I have a 1st Grader


We started school today!  My Munchkin is in 1st grade! Oh my goodness! This post may just be all exclamation points.  It's ok. I promise.

He lights up my world with how excited he always is over school.  Of course...we had to get a quick snapshot of our annual tradition.  I've been doing this since he was in PreK-3 so even though you can't see it here there's actually 3 photos in the one photo he is holding.


I think he was surprised at how much he has grown over the past few years!  It's really fun to see it each year.





This year I am also committing to being better about sending him to school with healthier meals of more variety.  Last year I got caught up in a major slump of busyness and relied way to heavily on him getting a hot plate in the cafeteria.  He was initially the one who asked to eat in the cafeteria because his friends were doing...but I have to take full responsibility that it just became easier for me to write a check for a week's worth of school lunch than actually going grocery shopping and preparing. My bad.

So in case you haven't figured out yet from reading my blog...I like commitment and challenges.

I'll be posting weekly on our #munchkinmeals for the week.  I hope you'll share your ideas with me as well because that is the hardest part for me...staying creative and diverse so he doesn't get bored.  I admit it is easy to make a turkey and cheese sandwich every day (pb isn't allowed at his school).

Munchkin Meals Day 1:

Salami and cheese sandwich.
Gogurt
Plum
Mozzarella Cheese Stick
Lite Kettle Corn
Strawberry and blueberry infused water (significantly reducing juice boxes this year).






Are your kids headed back to school yet?  What are your family baby to school traditions?  What are some of your favorite lunch items to pack?


Thursday, August 7, 2014

#tbt - Letter to my 20 year old self


To my 20 year old self,

The man God has for you will lead you into a more intimate relationship with Him and not try to lead you to be intimate with him.

Love,

Your 30 year old self

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Love Letter Day 15


Dear Me,

Thank you for accepting the love that surrounds you every single day. For recognizing that life is full of amazing, talented, brilliant people who love you and whom you love. Once you opened your heart to the power of that love that is all around you, your life changed. Thank you for being love and attracting it back to you. 

Keep sending your heart into the world.

Love,

Me


Monday, July 28, 2014

His Correction


I get moved by emotions.  It is true.  Despite my daily desire to seek God about everything concerning my life, I am still moved by my emotions.  It is not very pretty.  

It usually looks like this:

A situation I am praying about doesn't turn out the way I desire for it to turn out.  In fact, something happens or is said that causes me to be extremely upset and not hold my tongue.  In the past few weeks and months it has shown up by me sending a stream of texts letting out how I really feel about a situation.  Emotions. Moved.

One of the best things about having a relationship with God and really listening for His voice is that just like we do in our relationships, He will show you yourself.  He is not impressed with my emotional reactions that come from places of hurt and fear because He is in control.  So He shows me myself.  He teaches me through His word and His whispers that it is better to drop a matter before a dispute breaks out (Proverbs 17:14).

The other morning after being totally moved by emotions, I felt Him wake me early in the morning and ask me if I was ready to learn the lesson of it all.  To stop being moved by my emotions and to stand on what I know to be true.  It is easy to be moved by our emotions.  To want to prove our point. Defend our case.  It is all pointless though because in the end...God is still in control.  I am so ready to stand on His truth. To know He allows everything to happen in my life and is working all things for my good.  I want to be moved by that truth today.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Love Letter Day 14

I experienced this message for the first time today...and it is one of the most beautiful love letters ever written.  Be blessed.


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